Hold onto your butts, this is a long one…

Oy, it’s been a trying couple of weeks. Motivating my boys to get their rears in gear for the next phase of their new adult lives has been exceptionally frustrating. I truly believe if we allowed them to live at home while I continued to make their PB&J’s and dinners for the rest of their lives, they would probably be happy campers. There is zero rush to get out of the house. ZERO. For me, I couldn’t wait to leave when I was their age. Kids these days… I know, different generation and I’m sounding like an old fart. But it’s SO true! 

Back when I was in high school, in our house we were expected to go to college after graduation. There was never the question, will you go like nowadays. Instead, there was only, where are you going? I understand that many teenagers have no idea of what they want to study. Even though I started out with marine biology, in the very end, it took me a total of 10 years to get my bachelor’s degree after having sampled four majors, attended three schools, and flunked two years. Here’s the lowdown…

Major #1: Marine Biology. I really wanted to go to a school in Florida because that would be like, SO MUCH FUN! But being the wild-child that I was, there was no fricken way my parents were sending me there. They were very wise. So, I settled for an in-state school, Northern Michigan University since they had an aquatic biology program. The freshman weeder 101 classes there quickly weeded me out of studying fish. It was a clam that did me in. I couldn’t dissect it and apparently anything else in the class. Yuck. So, I failed Biology. In fact, I failed my entire freshman year. Did I mention that the second reason why I chose this particular school was because it was rumored to be a party school and the boy to girl ratio was 3:1? And guess what? The rumors were true.

Major #2: Art & Design. I was not allowed to return to NMU unless I attended a community college to bring up my grades. Since anything ‘biology’ was no longer an option, I decided to change my major to Art and Design. Who doesn’t like being creative? And guess what? I got a 4.0 gpa, surprising everyone, including me!

Riding on a wave of success from the community college, I headed back to Northern Michigan but this time as an Art & Design major. I didn’t all out fail this time but I didn’t all out pass either. And my memory of that year is really fuzzy. Oops. This time, I wasn’t brought home like my freshman year. It was more like a voluntary “this school is bad, bad, bad for me” choice to go back home. See, I was getting wiser.

Major #3: Art History. Being home again, you’d think I’d give up school at this point. This could’ve been my chance to end my college career but nope, I stuck with it. I am in it to win it! But I decided to study art instead of creating it. And the local university apparently had a really good Art History program. And guess what? Bzzzzzt. Didn’t stick. I quickly realized I liked looking at the art but I didn’t like reading about it. Or talking about it. My comparison of Seurat’s paintings to what I see without my glasses or contacts wasn’t acceptable. And my professor especially did not like me referring to surrealist artists as ‘those crazy nutters’.

Major #4: Anthropology. I decided to stick with the same school since I had moved out and started working fulltime. But this time, I met with a counselor. She was amazed at the assortment of classes under my belt and literally laughed at me when I asked her, what would I need to do to get a Geology degree? She was like, guuurl, you have academic A.D.D. Let’s find you something that can use some of the credits you already have and has enough variety to keep you interested so you can graduate. And guess what? Anthropology was indeed the answer. In those following six years, I was able to take classes in forensic science, death and burial rituals, the use of languages, African and Native American religions, and even a geology class to name a few. It was all so fun and fascinating that I stuck with it and I finally got that degree. Woohoo!

10 years. Everyone rejoiced when I finally graduated, mostly my parents. Me, I had mixed feelings. I was happy I finished but was also sad it was over. I admit, I felt a little lost without the structure of having classes and studying to fill my evenings and weekends. But that’s another story for another day.

SO….. With all that said, I get why my boys are a bit overwhelmed with the idea of attending college. Maybe this is karma biting my butt. Or ironic-karma, the complete opposite in the extreme, which in this case is doing absolutely nothing. Ugh. But having walked down memory lane, I don’t mind their hesitation so much anymore. There really is no rush. I’ll just keep on shoving, sorry, nudging, them along. They’ll find their own footing somehow, someday. And hopefully it won’t take as long as it took me should one or both choose to continue their education. I’m sure my parents would totally laugh at me if they did. And guess what? I wouldn’t blame them.