I have finally returned to work!

It was strange returning to my desk and seeing everything as I left it in March 2020. My sticky notes, calendars, and emails, all dated a year ago. Half of my pens were dried out and when I grabbed one of my glue sticks, it was all shriveled and sad from a year’s neglect. Since it was brand new when I got it, seeing it this way made me feel like I’m missing time where everything appears to be the same but is somehow outdated.

Going through my emails reminded me of where I left off before we were all sent home last year. It was an interesting read but all totally irrelevant now as so much has changed since then. Events we planned had been cancelled, postponed, and reinvented to new ones totally different from anything we’ve done before while I was away. So my time at work thus far has been spent learning about everything new. Maybe it was a good thing spending all that time at home had emptied out my brain. Now I’m like a sponge absorbing as much as possible with plenty of room in my head to do so.

Getting ready in the morning required serious adjustments. I had become accustomed to taking my time, lolligagging between showering, doing my hair and make-up, and getting dressed, if/when I felt inclined to do all of that on any given day. Sometimes it would take the entire day. Because I could. Now I’ve gotta get it all accomplished within an hour or so, depending on how early (or late) I get started. It’s been a challenge.

I confess, for the first day of work I did in fact put on a bra, wore it for about 10 minutes, then took it off. My body considered but then promptly rejected the confining spandex so my outfit for the day ended up including layers that easily disguised the missing undergarment. Bras suck. They sucked before and they suck again. Suckity-suck suck. I’m currently reworking my workplace wardrobe to include more cardigans and jackets and less bras. Much much less. Shhhhh…our little secret.

Even after a couple of weeks, the huge sigh of relief of my return to work still lingers in our home. The boys are happy I’m finally out of the house and no longer observing (and commenting on) every weird-ass teen boy-thing they do. My husband no longer looks at me wearily wondering, is she gonna go bat-shit crazy on me today? And even though I technically haven’t accomplished much at work thus far besides absorbing “the new”, I have a real sense of purpose and feel productive again. I’m glad this is one of those times where good things do come to those who wait.

I feel blessed that I was able to return to work. I know of many who weren’t given that option and my heart aches thinking of them. I’m sorely missing those who were part of my work family for so long, some for over 20 years, now casualties of the pandemic but never to be forgotten. I hope to reconnect with them very soon. Crossing fingers… Xoxo!!!