auto khan (ȯ-tō kän) noun, adjective, verb, whatever floats your boat

Auto khan is a term I use when I get pissed off while driving, usually directed at the car right in front of me. They could be the a-hole who cut me off, intentionally or not; or driving too slow or constantly breaking; or the driver could be talking on a phone, reading, or grooming themselves. I don’t know them and will probably never see them again (or even remember that particular car on a different day), but at that moment, they have a big ol’ target on their bumper. They have become my nemesis on wheels. 

My most common auto khan moments occur when I’m stuck behind a car that is going about 5 mph under the speed limit and there is no way for me to get around it. I try willing it with my mind to turn, Turn, TURN but to no avail, it’ll continue on at a turtle’s pace for what feels like miles. Then as we should be approaching a green light, the light turns yellow and the car has just enough time to drive through but I don’t. As I’ll break to stop for the light, the car seems to speed away, the bumber smiling at me and the breaklights wink. At that moment I want to raise my fist and yell “Khaaannn!!!” just like Captain Kirk.